Jesus was teaching in a Synagogue, saying that we must eat His flesh and drink His blood, and through that we will live forever. Obviously, the Jews were upset about this, and a lot of His followers left Him after hearing this. Jesus said "you do not want to go away also, do you?" (Jn. 6:67). Peter said "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God."
I don't know how many times I've rebelled against God. It's not like I get pissed off and try to make Him angry, but I still walk away from Him. Peter is saying "we know You're God. You've revealed Yourself to us. Why would we want to walk away?" But later he denies Him completely. I've been thinking about what it means to follow Jesus. Not in the American "live your life and try to incorporate God into the life you've made" kind of way. I don't know what it looks like, only that what I've called faith in the past is nothing what it's supposed to be like.
I know Jesus. I know He makes my life meaning, but it's only like that when I'm letting Him change me. It's so hard to explain, but I've had this little taste of what it means to live for Him. I've said that I'm getting one thing in terms of what my next step is: simply following Him.
I've typed out a couple ways to explain this, but it's just too complicated, and I think I'll end up confusing people. I can't really explain it, I can only say that it's only in His presence that I feel like I'm making progress.
I still am looking for the words to explain my lifestyle faith concept. Maybe this is it, though. The Rich Young Ruler and expert in the law (the guy who sparked the Good Samaritan parable) went to Jesus looking for what seemed to be a pretty complicated and detailed answer. What Jesus gave them was "Live for Me." Everyone wants to feel as though they're in control. That's what RYR and the lawyer wanted. But Jesus has already made it simple to understand: I'll reveal your path when you're ready.
I have everything I need, for the moment. I long for more because I want to do it on my own.
I don't know, this whole concept is so overwhelming, and the maintenance of a relationship with God is so exhausting (probably why most Americans have such lazy spirituality) but I've felt God's presence. All those songs about how irresistible God's love is make sense to me. I can't stand to live without that Presence now that I've found it, but at the same time, it's so easy to slip back into my laziness, and pretend I don't need Him. This is what a lifestyle faith looks like, I think. That's not to say I'm done, because this is the very very beginning, but still, the fact that I can't live without His presence means that I've found it. Right? Does this hit home with anyone?
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