I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but it made me chuckle

And everything I said about how messed up your head is

So I got my Escapism paper, and final grade, back from Bennett today. B+. I 'll accept it. I would have really liked an A in that class, but honestly with as much goofing off as I did with Hallye, a B+ is the best of what I deserve. I think that was on my top 5 best classes I've ever taken, and I know it was totally just because of Hallye. Well, mostly because of Hallye, I was also able to strike up a conversation with pretty much everyone else in there. Even though I didn't get to know her as well, I'll miss Drew too. She seems like a really cool girl... and no one knows who I'm talking about... by the way, Drew is a cute name for a girl.
The crappy thing: I'm not half as casual with the students in all my Bible classes. They're so elite-est. I know that's probably the same with every upper level major class, but still. I really enjoy talking theology with people, but it's not my favorite thing in the world to do. So yeah, I give that class an 8 out of 10.
Anywho, just thought I'd share, because I'm pretty happy. Turned in my Synoptics final and book review, and now I have a prophetic literature paper (which is the final) and a 15 page paper to write by thursday. However, I'm going to bask in my success, and not think about that for the time being. Good night, and God bless. :-)

Some may say it's foolishness

Prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know You. Therefore, I pray, whatever of Yourself You have seen to disclose, help me to search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold; for with You I will live when the stars of the skies are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only You remain. - A. W. Tozer

Who am I to complain about this amazing journey God has put me on? I don't know what my ministry is going to look like, but I can guarantee you it would be nothing without the experiences I will have. Without the pain and misery I'm experiencing, and will experience. I wouldn't really know what I was talking about. I've been waiting for this answer that's going to take away my suffering, when I really haven't done anything about my suffering, save complaining.
I keep trying to make a nice little lesson for getting up every day, and pushing through the pain, but the fact is, I don't have one. Three times, I've deleted a huge paragraph. I guess that goes along with my other point: I'm going through this pain so I can guide other people later in life. I guess that's my little motivation that gets me through my day. The idea that Jesus has been calling me so strongly for the past 9 months, because He has something to teach me, so I can serve Him. As much as I hate to admit it, the crap that I'm feeling is totally an answer to my prayers. To not live for myself, but to live for Him.
PS, this past episode of the Office was AM-ZA-ZING!! Totally just broke that nice mood, but don't care. I need some happiness in my life. I laughed very hard.
PPS, w00t w00t for take-home finals!

Not Today Giant Truck!!!

So, I'm driving home this morning on 6th Ave, when all of a sudden the huge truck in front of me (effing trucks! I hate them!!!!... even though it wasn't his fault) SLAMMED on his breaks (I was probably going a good 70 mph), forcing me to SLAM on my breaks. However, the raw awesome power that is Jacqueline yelled "NAY!" and prevented the horrible crash that would have deformed her beautiful face. In the immortal words of Hank Hill "Anti-lock breaks- that's why they didn't lock!" There was this ginormous piece of metal- like an air duct thing in the middle of the highway. Ridiculous. I love my car. Seriously, I think I might cry when I have to leave her for a whole semester.
PS The White Stripes is amazing. Every time I listen to them I get in a great mood. And by the way Hallye, Get Behind Me Satan is WAY better than Seven Nation Army. It's official.
PPS thanks to everyone who called me yesterday/ commented/ both. I get really frustrated, because I'm in this place where I want to be moving forward, but part of moving forward right now is sitting still. Hard to explain. I just needed to vent. And I need to talk to someone who has been in this place before. I don't know. But yeah, thanks to everyone who called and commented.

I must keep reminding myself of this

Lord, how great is our dilemm! In thy presence silence best becomes us, but love inflames our hearts and constrains us to speak. Were we to hold our peace the stones would cry out yet if we speak, what shall we say? Teach us to know that we cannot know, for the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God. Let faith support us where reason fails, and we shall think because we believe, not in order that we may believe.
A.W. Tozer The Knowledge of the Holy, chapter 2.

I feel...

I feel:
Unwanted
Lonely
Stupid
Fake
Hopeless
Unattractive
Abandoned
On edge (I'm shivering and I'm not cold)

Arynn got kind of irritated with me the other day because I was feeling something that I hadn't told her because I didn't want to dump on her. I have this amazing ability to become self-sufficient, and keep people at this perfect distance where I can help them, and they can feel like they can come to me to vent or for advice or whatever, but I don't let them see the whole me. I think it's just a defense mechanism. I have to be in a good mood, or I at least can't be completely vulnerable with them. I guess I kind of make up for that by telling people what I'm struggling/ wrestling with, usually philosophical stuff, and that way it doesn't seem like I'm keeping anything back.
I got burned pretty bad. I gave this huge amount of myself out, and I got burned. I'm so tired of pretending it's going to pass me by.
I've been really working on this concept of following God. Giving my whole self to His plan, and not holding on to my own plans. It's something I've never really experienced before, because I can't seem to give myself wholly to Him. I'm reading this devotional Solomon (Robbie's new name. I'm really trying hard to make the switch, so I can't continue to call him robbie) gave me and it's all about really genuinely following Him, and not in the feel-good Max Lucado way. (Why do I always rip on him? The one book of his I did read was actually pretty good. Whatever) It's called My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. A lot of the concepts he has in there are so difficult to follow, but I know they're from God. He just doesn't sugar coat things. I guess the problem with this is everything I've been getting from God has been "just live for Me." It's so simple, and seems so passive. I think part of it is just to allow maturity to come. If I just live my daily life focusing on Him, and not just focus on one nice concept at a time, eventually my mind will just natually adapt to that, and I can work on individual things. The problem is, I'm not seeing a ton of immediate fruit from that. I've been doing it for about a month now- really trying to live with that constantly in my mind. It's frustrating when you don't have something physical for that after that long of a period. Also, I can look at things that AREN'T part of that lifestyle that are hindering me from living that way. So it's like not only am I not seeing fruit for this change I'm trying to make, but I'm constantly beating myself down just by thinking "oh yeah, obviously I haven't changed yet, because my desires are still producing (this bad habit or behavior). It's really frustrating, and honestly really depressing. I'm tired of it. I know a strong relationship with God doesn't just magically appear, but still. I'm not getting anything here. I want to stay strong, but it wears on me. It's like everything that I try to do to fix this (including just sitting back and letting God work on it) either does nothing, or it makes it worse. I met this really really great girl the other day, who seemed to be into me, and I emailed her and said I'm just not ready for a relationship (because I really felt like God wants me to set that aside for the time being). When the hell do I get fruit for that?!? I've made a lot of sacrifices, trying to live the life God wants me to, and I'm feeling just as bad as before. I'm tired of it. I want a break, but I know all it's going to do is make me numb, and desire God even more. I really don't know.

Real Men Wii Standing Up

So unless you've been living in Africa or something, more than likely you have heard about Nintendo's new console, the Wii. Less likely, you've heard of Nintendo's newest handheld, the DS. (Kind of like a game boy, only it has two screens, one of which is a touch screen.) Both have been making TONS of money. In both America and Japan. I wanted to post these pictures, but I don't get the animation if I post it, so go to both of these links. They crack me up. I'd tell you their names, but don't know how to spell them. They're the president of Nintendo and creator of Nintendo games like Mario, Legend of Zelda, Metroid, and Pokemon. I know it's creepy, but they just crack me up. I'm a nerd.
Link 1
Link 2

Red Beard

So tonight Nathan (my roommate) said to me "hey I like the beard."... I've had my beard for a good two months now. While I know I've seen him within that two months, that just shows you how much time we've actually spent together. He works WAY too much. Thought I'd share.
There's a picture, in case you haven't seen it.
By the way, I finished my Synoptics paper, and I actually kind of like the way it came out. My thesis is pretty clear and ties together pretty well, which I really didn't think would happen. Now I'm going to take a shower, and spend some time with my Creator. Sleep well.

Size Matters

I have a couple friends who think that guys who drive trucks are really hot. I will never own a truck, for quite a few reasons. Mainly because I like cars, and I learned how to drive on a Yukon XL and a GMC Sierra extended cab, and it sucked.
Anyway, I found this picture, and I laughed. I know my car would get crushed just like this, but still. No matter how big you think your truck is, there's always something bigger. I can't really tell if it's fake, but still. Just got a little humor out of that.

Blah

Rain makes me depressed. Snow and rain makes me even more depressed. Snow and rain and writing a paper that is due tomorrow when I only have 3 pages written makes me really really depressed. And don't even get me started on procrastination.

No one cares...

Welp, that's it for the first round of the playoffs. As most of you probably know, at least from my posts, the Avs didn't make the playoffs, but I can't help but continue to keep up on it. Just thought I'd make a few predictions... for the West. Eastern Conference hockey is... not entertaining...
So the Anaheim Ducks, Vancouver Canucks, Detroit Red Wings, and San Jose Sharks are all moving on to the second round. So it's Detroit vs. San Jose and Anaheim vs. Vancouver. My predictions: Detroit is going to pull out in 6 games, though I'd love it if the Sharks beat them. I hate Detroit so much. And Anaheim will beat Vancouver in 7. I just want to revisit my prediction that the Ducks will face the Buffalo Sabres, and the Sabres will take home the Cup. I like both teams a lot, but Buffalo is just too strong for any team. Possibility that Detroit will beat Anaheim in the third round, but I'm making the call.
You are truly my friend if you read this whole blog. :-)

I can show you the world

So I just joined this group on facebook called something to the effect of "remember when you realized the Disney "D" was actually a "D" and not a backwards "G"? I totally thought I was the only one!!!! And the best part was in the profile they were like "remember when you were 14 and you realized..." which is totally what age (about) I was when I realized it!!! Thought I'd share.

I need words

So Robbie has been trying to get me to go to this church he attends on Saturday nights for like 4 weeks, and I finally went this week. It was... interesting. You know that one woman who's always really excited about God, and whenever she has the opportunity to speak during the service she's always really peppy and says stuff like "praise God" and "it was just SUCH a blessing!"? Yeah, that was this woman. She was insane. Basically, she said that we should all be speaking in tongues at least once a day. Apparently she does, when she's driving her kids to school while listening to k-love. She said we should all have a time set aside each day to speak in tongues. Apparently she also does this because she's "run out of things to say to God, and this way she can continue to speak to Him." You've run out of things to say to the creator of the universe, whom apparently blesses you every day and blesses you in everything you do? You don't think your focus on tongues might be a little skewed? Maybe a little self-centered?
I could go on such a tangent about how backwards the whole service was (this guy just started randomly speaking in tongues behind me... during the announcements!!!!) and how the doctrine I DID hear was completely self-serving, but I won't. (Just a little disclaimer: I totally believe in speaking in tongues... as long as it's Biblically performed... but honestly I'm uncomfortable and distracted when people do it.) I did get something out of it though: I had this really strong desire to go to Ancient Paths. So, I did. And it was pretty amazing. Bruce was talking about how he feels like certain people should step up, and start a house church. I don't think I'm called for that, especially since I won't really have an official home in a month and a half, but I did get this nudge that I need to stop living for myself. I've been so focused on my own walk, which I don't think is a bad thing, but I think it's time for me to start focusing on some sort of service. Don't know what that looks like, but prayer would be appreciated. There was more to it than that, but that's all I care to share.
Today was a pretty good day. I got a good chunk of my paper done, and I talked to Dr. Timothy Mitchell. I swear he loses his salvation a little more each time we talk. Good times.

Thoughts On Simplistic Faith

Jesus was teaching in a Synagogue, saying that we must eat His flesh and drink His blood, and through that we will live forever. Obviously, the Jews were upset about this, and a lot of His followers left Him after hearing this. Jesus said "you do not want to go away also, do you?" (Jn. 6:67). Peter said "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God."
I don't know how many times I've rebelled against God. It's not like I get pissed off and try to make Him angry, but I still walk away from Him. Peter is saying "we know You're God. You've revealed Yourself to us. Why would we want to walk away?" But later he denies Him completely. I've been thinking about what it means to follow Jesus. Not in the American "live your life and try to incorporate God into the life you've made" kind of way. I don't know what it looks like, only that what I've called faith in the past is nothing what it's supposed to be like.
I know Jesus. I know He makes my life meaning, but it's only like that when I'm letting Him change me. It's so hard to explain, but I've had this little taste of what it means to live for Him. I've said that I'm getting one thing in terms of what my next step is: simply following Him.
I've typed out a couple ways to explain this, but it's just too complicated, and I think I'll end up confusing people. I can't really explain it, I can only say that it's only in His presence that I feel like I'm making progress.
I still am looking for the words to explain my lifestyle faith concept. Maybe this is it, though. The Rich Young Ruler and expert in the law (the guy who sparked the Good Samaritan parable) went to Jesus looking for what seemed to be a pretty complicated and detailed answer. What Jesus gave them was "Live for Me." Everyone wants to feel as though they're in control. That's what RYR and the lawyer wanted. But Jesus has already made it simple to understand: I'll reveal your path when you're ready.
I have everything I need, for the moment. I long for more because I want to do it on my own.
I don't know, this whole concept is so overwhelming, and the maintenance of a relationship with God is so exhausting (probably why most Americans have such lazy spirituality) but I've felt God's presence. All those songs about how irresistible God's love is make sense to me. I can't stand to live without that Presence now that I've found it, but at the same time, it's so easy to slip back into my laziness, and pretend I don't need Him. This is what a lifestyle faith looks like, I think. That's not to say I'm done, because this is the very very beginning, but still, the fact that I can't live without His presence means that I've found it. Right? Does this hit home with anyone?

The greatest trick of the devil is not to lead us to evil, but to get us to waste time -Donald Miller

I have three papers due this coming week. I have little to no research on these subjects. On top of that, I have finals approaching very quickly. I've been up since 7:30. What have I done so far that's even remotely productive?


It's been a while since I've been to the grocery store. Decisions, decisions.

Mere Christianity. Great book.

Yeah...


I love my Wii

That's the peep hole in my door, in case you couldn't tell. There was no one there... :-(

I enjoy a good chill-lax every once in a while...

The Cure for Anxiety

There's a fairly famous passage in Matthew where Jesus is teaching not to worry about the future, because God will provide whatever we need. He uses an illustration "26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than they?"
I remember talking to someone at Central about animal rights, or something to that affect. They used this point that God values animals so highly, that He loves us as much as "the birds of the air." We all got a good laugh out of that, once he or she realized the passage was basically saying "birds are worthless, but God still feeds them." I know it's probably not as funny to everyone else, but at the time, it was really funny. The context probably helped too...
Whenever I read this passage, I always think about that person, and I really don't think about what it's saying, which kind of sucks, because there are a lot of times I need to hear that.
I've been kind of worried about my future lately. I don't think I'm called to be a pastor. I've come to terms with that, and now I'm okay. But I still have this issue where I look ahead, trying to envision where I'll be. Sometimes when I do this, it's exciting, because I look back at past events, both happy and sad, and look at what my life looks like now (or will look like in 5 months!) and it's encouraging. It's neat to see that stuff unfold. But other times, I look at what I am now, and what I could do, and I don't have a lot of options.
That's kind of the point, though. I guess I'm not ready to have a career. I'm still kind of in training in a lot of areas. I'm getting pretty sick of school, and I think that's one of the reason Oregon looks so appealing: I'm tired of school, but I need to stay in for a while, so this makes things a little easier, because it's not the same old same old.
Everything I'm getting from God is telling me to sit still, and just sort of live for Him. When I say I'm getting that feeling from God, I mean everywhere. Even Lost had that message. Just live for Him, and your path will empty where it's supposed to. That takes a lot of trust.

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life,
as to what you will eat or what you will drink;
nor for your body, as to what you will put on.
Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the sky, that they do not sow,
nor reap, nor gather into barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not worth much more than they?
And who of you by being worried
can add a single hour to his life?...
Do not worry then, saying "what will we eat?"
or "what will we drink?" or "what will we wear for clothing?"
For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things;
for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you.
So do not worry about tomorrow;
for tomorrow will care for itself.
Each day has enough of it's own trouble.
Matthew 6:25-27; 31-34

It's true

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for

I used to have a major problem with singing some worship songs. I felt guilty, because, while I so badly wanted to feel what the song writer (and apparently every Christian who sings those songs) feels, I couldn't say that I felt the same way. I would always say things like "I wish this were true" or something to that effect. I went to TNL with Elaine tonight. I felt like I was telling God the truth... except I didn't fall on my knees... Part of me doesn't want to post this because it kind of seems like bragging, but honestly I don't care. Think what you want to think. :-)

What we do in life echos in eternity

So I was talking to Robbie and Cole the other day, telling them about Central. I told them that, while the experience was life-changing, and I'd definitely go again, knowing everything that happened to me, there was a lot of crap that I hated about the school, and some of the students. I'm sure most of you already know, but there was a lot of debate about whether or not baptism is the point at which someone receives the Holy Spirit (basically at conversion). I knew nothing about Theology, or even the Bible, really. Most of my faith was ignorant, based on my upbringing and such.
Anyway, Robbie was kind of shocked, and asked me what Bible verses they used to back that up. I told him I don't remember specific verses, but it was pretty overwhelming when they'd make a case for it.
I was thinking about how Robbie reacted, and how I read my Bible these days, and while I can understand how someone would think that, I totally don't see it that way. Back then, it was incredibly overwhelming. I really thought I was wrong, and that somehow every teacher of the Bible I'd ever known totally missed the point of those specific passages.
It's weird how our perceptions change with our environment. I'm really excited about Oregon (my professor said he'd give me a recommendation, so I'm one step closer to acceptance!!!) and the community. It's not just one of those "yes! I'm going to be completely surrounded by Christians! My faith is going to be so strong!!!" I don't think that's the normal atmosphere. I've said before that I'm excited because I'm going to get to see people at their darkest spiritual state, and while I'm definitely not at my darkest state, I'm definitely at my most intrigued. I've never wanted to seek God more aggressively than I do now. I think a lot of people going here are so confused, and while they believe in God, they don't have a major foundation. That's an atmosphere of questioning. I'm not going to have a bunch of people trying to tell me this piece of Theology they all believe, and reinforce among each other- I'm going to have a bunch of people reinforcing the idea of questioning, and searching. That's exciting.

It's the most amazing thing that I've ever seen, you will not act like a human being

So I play DDR. I started doing it because I like to expand my game experience (I REFUSE to call myself a gamer, but I could easily have thrown that word in somewhere) and be able to relate to people who have played it. I like to be able to talk to people about their passions from my own experience. I've had quite a few conversations, and kind of owe some friendships to DDR, because that's where our initial conversations started. I picked up Dance Dance Revolution, for those of you who don't know what DDR is. It's an awesome game, and it's really good if you don't feel like going to the gym, but still want to work out. This game is really fun, but only if you're good at it (being "good" at it only requires that people get used to the interface). I'm not great by any means, but I'm pretty decent, especially when I have energy.
On people who didn't really get into it: While a couple friends embraced it, I had other friends who refused to. Elaine, for example, HATES video games, and wouldn't even play Wii Bowling! It's designed for people like her! :-) Maybe it's because I've had experiences with people who freak out when I act a little goofy, but I've really gotten into this whole "who cares what other people think?" thing. Granted, I'm still plenty self conscious about things, but being really goofy while having a good time with friends doesn't bother me. I think it's kind of sad that people are so worried about how they look when they play DDR, or people see them playing charades or whatever.
I guess my point in all this is, how many times do we let our own insecurities stop us from experiencing life? When I worship, I have this problem where my mind sometimes drifts into "are people watching me?" when no one ever is. We always think the attention is on us. I think people who refuse to play DDR would love it if they would give it a chance. In fact I guarantee it, if they would throw aside their insecurities and just play.
I have been letting my own insecurities/ personality flaws get in the way of me experiencing life. I've been reading Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller again. So good. He has all these amazing experiences, but a lot of them make me really uneasy. I don't know if I could live in the woods with hippies for a month. But that's kind of the point, isn't it? We don't treasure the things that are easy in life- we treasure what takes us out of our comfort zone, and helps us grow. (Soon I'll have a blog with reflections about what faith-lifestyle looks like, for me... or what I'd like mine to look like). Maybe something as simple as playing DDR through the pain of "knowing" someone is looking would give someone the taste. That taste of feeling free from one of our burdens. I guess getting a glimpse at how we'd like to live, but just can't take that first step towards living that way.

YAY!!!

So I'm pretty much officially going to Oregon Extension. I talked to Malinson, and he said he's impressed with the program, and whatever classes I end up taking will be approved by him when I make an official form.
I just applied today (though I'm hoping it's a formality, because the bib studies prof there said he thinks I'll fit in perfectly). I'll send in the application, and then turn in my transcript request, and hopefully the professor I asked to be my recommendation will do it (I asked him via email). So, yeah. There are some things that I still need to work out, but for the moment, I'm extremely excited, and it's pretty much amazing that Malinson was so supportive of this, and approves of it or whatever.
In other news, I had lunch with Hallye today, and it was a lot of fun. She's transferring to CU Denver next semester, which is a bummer because I'll miss goofing off with her but I'm transferring to OE, so it all works out. She burned me some CDs (zero7 and Muse) and I'm way happy for new music. She has pretty good taste. :-)
On Malinson's site he has a blog, but he has this disclaimer that "blogs are self indulgent, so I write Psalms instead." Isn't the point of a blog to indulge a little? Everyone that I know who blogs consistently says it's a huge release for them. I don't know, I love the Psalms he writes, and I have even wrote a couple myself for my journal, but, as Arynn says "blog is a combination of the words 'bitch' and 'log.'" That's how we roll! :-)
So this whole being social thing is really getting to me. I love it, I really can't express how amazing I feel having stepped out of my bubble and hung out with people when I normally wouldn't have (for anyone who reads this whom I've totally blown off and made feel like you weren't important to me because of my uncomfortability with just going out and having a good time, I'm sorry. I didn't really realize the impact I was having on my friends, and with some of my friends' help, I'm getting much better). But yeah, I'm pretty tired. I've also been at Grammy's every night this week, but still. Even though I'm tired though, my life is amazing, and so much richer than it has been in like 6 months.
Now I'm gonna get some sleep before I go out AGAIN this week. Can I get a w00t w00t?

At Midnight A Torrential Downpour

So I'm doing this paper for the OT Prophetic Literature class. It's really abstract, but in a very simplistic nutshell, it revolves around situation ethics, or an ethical system (the belief system that a person has, usually based on the Bible, or natural instincts/ feelings) and how a lot of times in the Bible, events like murder or sex or whatever are totally left up to the situation, not a unified all situations law. It has really interesting implications, like "well what if all the occurences in the Bible where homosexuality is knocked are situational, and it's really not bad?" I don't believe that, but it's a really tough question, and I'm really excited to explore the concept. I'm reading this book that's basically looking at the concept of Situation Ethics, and I'm very excited. It's amazing. It's so controversial too. I'm in danger of becoming a liberal theologian. ;-)
Natalie and I were talking about this, and I don't mean to sound arrogant, but it was so cool to explain this concept to someone, and have them be able to keep up. I am in no way schooled when it comes to theology or the Bible, in fact most of the students at CCU know a lot more than I, but she totally got the concept, and the implications, and was asking me questions, and I don't have that at all with really anyone else in my life. It was really exciting.
On that note, I can't wait for the Oregon Extension. I talked to the Bib studies head today, and he was trying to see if I'd be a good fit, and among other things, he said "well, some other people have had a problem with the fact that none of us on staff voted for Bush." I laughed at the thought of that being a problem, because that was yet one more amazing thing about this place. Every time I learn something new about this place, it gets me more excited to go!
I'm trying to keep people posted on this stuff. I'm going to talk to Malinson (the head of the theology dept at CCU) to get the classes pre-approved tomorrow, so prayers would be greatly appreciated!

Silly Republicans

(I've been stealing stuff from Sierra... but this is really good. Here ya go.)

Who's your brother, who's your sister?
You just walked passed him
I think you missed her
As we're all migrating to a place where our Father lives
Because we married in to a family of immigrants

So my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
It's to a King & a Kingdom


There are two great lies that I’ve heard
“The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
And that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
And if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him

So my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
It's to a King & a Kingdom

But nothing unifies like a common enemy
And we’ve got one, sure as hell
He may be living in your house
He may be raising up your kids
He may be sleeping with your wife
Oh no, he may not look like you think

Effin' A Cotton. Effin' A.

While gold farming is running rampant through all of World of Warcraft, another type of trading altogether has appeared: sex for gold. A woman has posted a Craig's List ad, picked up by Primal Devolution, looking for 5,000 gold in order to buy her epic mount (zing).

In exchange you get ... her. "I play a level 70 night elf druid and would prefer someone who was into roleplaying (I have a costume!) boy honestly anyone will do, as long long as you have the gold. I would also be ok with a woman too, as long as you have the gold!"

She wants to see a picture of your character with the gold ... oh yeah, and you have to be drug / disease free. Yikes folks, just ... yikes.

The Lord is my Shepherd, i shall not want

Rest in peace 2006-2007 Colorado Avalanche.

Last night the Avs lost in regulation to the Nashville Predators, ending their season. Since moving to 1995, the Avs haven't missed the playoffs. Had we been in the Eastern Conference, we would have made it. Because of the new NHL, the Avs have undergone a lot of...retooling. While they played very well down the stretch, not losing a game in regulation for 16 games, most of the season was bad.
Jose Theodore: We put our goaltender trust on your shoulders. Take the buy-out you'll undoubtedly get, and leave us.
Joe Sakic: You've remained the leader of this team. You've showed us time and time again that you've still got what it takes to take the lead, and I know you'll do it for at least a couple more years.
Peter Budaj: You took the wheel and stepped into the first goaltender position, and held it with honor. While it's not known whether or not you'll be number one next season, you played very well, and you're going to be among the elite.
Paul Stasny and Wojtek Wolski: You played incredibly well, and gave us fans hope for the future.
Anyway, that's my little speech. The Avs have some work that needs done to the team, mainly a dependable goaltender (Budaj?) and a couple good defensemen. Maybe another high scoring winger. However, we're only a few good players away. Otherwise the team played very well. I'm proud of this team, ironically, a lot more than I have been in a few years... when they actually made the playoffs.
My prediction Stanley Cup Champions for 2007: Buffalo vs. Anaheim (who the hell would have guessed my prediction for the Cup Finals would be the Sabres vs. the Ducks?!?!)= Buffalo Sabres win it all.
Another bitter-sweet event this year. It's gonna be a good year.

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it

So as most of you know, I've been thinking about doing this Oregon Extension thing for about a month or so. I've been waiting to see if CCU will accept the credits, so I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much, but part of me can't help it. Especially when a lot of my concerns keep getting taken care of. Again, if the credits don't transfer I don't know if I can justify taking a whole semester off (although I have been thinking about taking a semester off for a while, but didn't want to just work or whatever... basically just waste my time) and not get any credits out of it. Anyway, in case you're interested, and you have like 15 minutes to kill, here's the link to a video that explains everything.
I'm pretty excited, especially when I look at the environment. I have been CRAVING an environment (I've been thinking just a bunch of friends) that is made up of people who are just searching for God. That doesn't seem to be the focus of most of my friends' lives in my life. That's fine, I'm not putting them down or anything, and it's not like I don't want to hang out with them or anything, but I have been really craving community that is spiritually encouraging lately.
Anyway, just looked at that and had to share.

I've seen what happens to the wicked and proud when they decide to try to take on the throne for the crown

So Ted Dekker just released his new book! I'm really excited. I've only like 5 chapters, but so far it looks good. Oh, and by the way, my favorite books by him: The Circle Trilogy- he's making 6 sequels to it!!!! It's another series, and the first two come out in February of 2008! Mad that I have to wait a freakin year, but I was excited to see what his new work was (he always puts an excerpt from his work that's coming out next in the back of his newest release... although he didn't do that, he made the announcement, and I'm SOOOOOO excited!!! Thomas of Hunter!!!!

She defends it with a warped rationale

So there's drama goin' down at CCU right now. Long story short, in Chapel they had a speaker talk about abortion, and I guess there were some people in the crowd who would cheer whenever a pro-choice comment would be made, and the others would cheer whenever a pro-life comment was made. Obviously, I wasn't there. I've heard both sides of the story, and honestly I'm not really happy with either side. It sounds like everyone was pretty unloving and stubborn and yeah. Whenever people make a decision on something controversial, most of the time they make this decision in their minds, like "I don't care what point is made, I'm (insert drama) and everyone else is wrong, damn it!
I'm reading Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis. It's amazing. Even the prologue is amazing. I guess when he first made these points, he made them on the radio. The he compiled all of the points into a book, and the Prologue is basically just saying "I'm not trying to convert anyone to my way of thinking." And just goes off on this explanation of all the problems with Christians and their differences. He makes two amazing points, that I want to point out:
"(in reference to stating that the only thing he's decided to tell non-believers about in regards to his faith is about Jesus)... the questions which divide Christians from one to another often involve points of high Theology or even ecclesiastical (church) history, which ought never to be treated except by real experts." This one first: Arynn and I were talking last night about how so many people base their political choices on two things: abortion and gay marriage. No wonder our country is so corrupt sometimes! People don't give a damn about what's best for the country, only about their own petty beliefs. How selfish and ignorant is that?! I understand it's good to make a decision, and I'm not knocking those people for having beliefs, but there is a hell of a lot more to our country's issues than gay marriage and abortion. People care about this stuff because it's easy to comprehend, and it basically hinges on whether you believe in Jesus or not (anyone who says this country isn't a Christian nation (do not mistake that I'm saying it was FOUNDED as a Christian nation, because I don't think it was) is an idiot. Even non-Christians base their opinions and actions against Christians. We have Christian national holidays, pretty much every political issue comes down to Christianity in some way, and over half the population consider themselves Christians). ANYWAY, Lewis' point here is most people learn super basics about a subject, and then argue it to death based on that loose understanding of it. Most people have no idea of the ramifications for making gay marriage legal (not saying I'm for or against it, just saying it'd be hard). I don't even know. A friend explained it to me, and basically said that to make it legal, all people licensed to marry in the US (Christian nation, anyone?) would have to accept it, and there's no way the majority of Christians are going to accept it any time soon. So yeah, I guess I'm just saying the people who cheered for abortion on Tuesday (and against it) were basing their opinion on loose moral judgments that have to deal with everyone not being offended. As for the lifers, I don't know if I'm okay with anyone who is strongly against abortion who has no clue what it's like to make that decision. Most judgmental Christians outsiders perspective.
The other point Lewis had I just made. He was talking about birth control and how, because he wasn't a woman, he didn't have the perspective to make opinions about this controversy.
So yeah, I basically just ranted, but this book is amazing, and drama cannot go un-noted. :-)

And Milan Hejduk Scores for the Hat Trick!

We're still goin' baby! Colorado won last night against Vancouver 3-1, and Calgary lost to San Jose 3-4. Hejduk had the Hat Trick, Stasny had three assists, and the Avs are flyin' high.
During the blizzard (I think the second one) the Avs and Flames were supposed to play, but the game got canceled, and rescheduled for the last game of the regular season, this Sunday night. It would be amazing if we won tonight, the Flames lost (that's very unlikely, just because they're playing the Oilers, and as far as I know they're still playing pretty poorly) and the whole playoff picture came down to one game AGAINST THE FLAMES! Like I said before, I wouldn't be devastated if the Avs didn't get into the post-season, just because they've played so well these past couple weeks (13-1-2 in the past 16) and I've already made peace with the fact that they wouldn't when they were still playing badly. HOWEVER, it would be amaz-za-zing if they won. I'll be posting tomorrow, because I know you all are so excited to hear how it all turns out. :-)

Joseph Smith was called a prophet, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

When I was in high school, I had a class with one of the most ego-maniacal assholes (excuse the language, but it's the only way I can express my distaste for this person) anyone would ever meet. Even though no one who reads this would know this guy, I'm not going to post his name, but I couldn't stand this guy. He would constantly attack my faith, completely unprovoked on top of that. One day, he was really being a jerk, and a guy sitting at our table kind of chimed in. Can't remember what he was attacking, but I remember it had something to do with Jesus. The other Christian chimed in, and I really didn't even care what he was saying, just that I had someone else on my side. It's nice to have someone else on your side when you're constantly being attacked and put down for your beliefs, especially when they're pretty private beliefs.
Well, apparently the guy was a Mormon. I didn't care at the time, because honestly I didn't know that much about different beliefs, etc. I've been thinking about how I'd feel if he chimed in while I was fighting with a-hole now. Honestly I think a pretty natural reaction would be something along the lines of "look, I don't need YOUR help." I'd probably treat him like "I'll tell you why you're wrong later."
I like to think I'm pretty accepting. I don't think Mormons are Christians, nor do I believe homosexuality is right, or that sex before marriage is okay, or anything else that's pretty controversial. And while I don't attack these people the way most Christians do (meaning I don't attack them at all, not that I attack them in a different way) I think there's a stigma around the fact that they are all sins.
The Bible has this running theme that people are to have a faith like a child. Basically, that means we're supposed to live life completely trusting God, not allowing logic, or our problems, or whatever else that might cloud our judgment or trust. I can't help but wonder: does the fact that we are aware of these sins automatically make our unloving hearts unable to love these people? Is there automatically a stigma about a person when he or she tells me: "I'm of the Mormon faith"? While I want to share this love that I've found in Jesus, am I automatically at a disadvantage, simply because I don't know what it looks like to love people?
This isn't one of those things I really beat myself up about, because I think to be able to love people unconditionally is pretty much impossible. Jesus proved that it is possible, but no one else has ever lived a life like Him. I'm sure Mother Theresa even wanted to take a shot at someone in her life.
On top of all that, is there anyway I could bring myself to love someone like a-hole? That's something I probably can beat myself up over... ;-)
Just a thought.

And Sakic beats Miikka Kiprusoff for the goal!

So, as will be said with every win the Avs have combined with a Flames loss, the Avs' playoff hopes live another day. It's pretty exciting, and I just had to make an announcement of sorts. Sakic scored a goal and had three assists.
Anyway, I did my sermon yesterday, and I am getting ready to turn in my Escapism paper right now. I'm just waiting for Kinkos to finish the fancy copy. Two huge weights out of the way.
So my Prophetic Literature class with Aimes yesterday was really good. We were talking about Zepheniah, and one of the things Aimes talked about was the concept of OT Theology. Basically, the difference between OT Theology and NT Theology is OT Theology is a historical theology. In other words, it's the theology people had in the Old Covenant, whereas NT Theology is theology we live by today. It differs because Jesus was the sacrifice for our sins, so we don't have to live by the rules of the Old Covenant in the same way. Anyhoo, Aimes is one of my favorite profs here because he's so liberal. He's a Christian, and he's not like post-modern and scientology or something gay like that, but his views on Biblical interpretation are pretty liberal. I love it, because it's a different way of thinking about things. I don't necessarily subscribe to everything he believes, but it gets me thinking, which is cool. I don't really like conservative theology.
Okay, so, we were talking about OT Theology, and he's explaining the difference between "everything is relative" (EXTREMELY Post Modern, basically what people say when they don't want other people to make them feel bad about crap that they're doing) and what I can only describe as contextual criticism. Basically, his point was that in the Bible, especially in the OT, certain things that happen are totally situational, or depend on the context. The example he made was murder. If one looked at Abraham killing Issac (God tells Abraham to kill his son Issac, and at the very last second, tells him to stop, because he wanted to see if Abraham would follow God regardless... that's a loose overview) one could justify killing children. Obviously it's not okay to kill children, and that's not what the story is saying, but if one were to look at the teachings of the OT from a black and white stand point, one could justify it.
So yeah, it's this really cool concept, that I think I'm going to do my paper on. I stayed after class and kind of brain stormed with him, and it was really cool. I guess there's this verse in 2 Cor. that quotes a passage from Deut., but takes it out of context. And on top of that, apparently the NASB version quotes it in context, because they saw it as a mistake. I don't know what the dilly yo is, but I'm really excited, and wanted to share. :-) So yeah, that's my story.

One down, one to go

I gave my sermon for Communication for Ministry today. It went as well as I had hoped. All I really wanted was for it to go as well as I had done when practicing, and out of all my practices, I think that was the best... only it wasn't a practice. I had an idea of what everyone was going to say I needed to do better, and I was right: everyone said it was kind of hard to follow. I had this concept that was pretty central to the point I wanted to make, and after brain storming with a few friends, all I came away with (besides having fresh new ideas in an otherwise stale mindset) were a few illustrations. I wanted to verbalize this concept, but couldn't, so all I could do was almost ramble... so yeah, my biggest problem was structure. Maybe I should have gone in a different direction, but I really had a passion for this concept, so yeah. One reviewer (they all filled out annonymous reviews) was a dick. He gave me a 2 (out of five). It looks like the average was about a 3 1/2 to a 4, which is what I was expecting. On the encouraging side, everyone said I was very confident and relaxed in front of an audience. I already knew I'm a good public speaker, but it's nice to hear people say it.
But, I'm done. Through. Finished. I have to write a 2 page review on my performance, and that class is done for the semester. I really like Buzzell. He's a really good prof.
And now, I'm going to get some work done on my Escapism paper, which is due tomorrow. I need to spend money at Kinkos for a "professional version," which is kind of gay, but whatever.
This semester is coming to a halt very quickly, and although I haven't even though about the other two papers I have to do by the end of the semester (early May) it's nice to check that off. And tomorrow I'll be able to check off my paper. Yeah. I feel pretty good. I'm a good public speaker, and I have good stage presence. And my ideas were really good... just not really organized. ;-)

Oh that's right, I went there

I wish this didn't have the language, but still. I got a chuckle out of it. Silly PS3 fanboys... Of which there are none who read my blog... And I'm fairly certain everyone who reads my blog wouldn't get this joke anyway, but still... it's for my own amusement. :-)